The Quick Fix For Healing Your Marriage, even when you're not sure you want it.
Knowledge is the key to know one's self. The bottom line- Marriage is spiritual. You need to know the truth about spiritual involvements.
In our society, we've taken spirituality out of humans. There is a great spiritual ignorance.
One popular way of having a private wedding ceremony is usually how our society performs a bond between a man and a woman to be wed in holy matrimony included with vows sometimes written by the two who are to be wed. The verbal and sometimes written vows are the agreement/contract of joining the two, man and woman, together as one, in a spiritual covenant before our Creator and witnesses. Another way some opt for is a very private marriage offering vows in secret, but participant beware as these types of marriage vows without witnesses cannot always protect the individuals and sometimes find that there is no justice when one aborts the contract even after taking privileges of the act done in secret.
The consummation of intercourse is the gift designed for the combining together of the two souls to become one flesh, entwined in the powerful emotional experience in spiritual, set apart/holy matrimony, we vow, "until death do we part." Marriage is a lifelong commitment, until the death of one of the partners. But what about Ab Initio? When the marriage is a ruse or based upon fraud or deception? What if this so called marriage is not a holy union and that there are other vows still not being performed by one or the other in this unholy union? Is there protection for the participants even if this union was predicated upon appeal to emotion or appeal to authority?
In our society, it is common that many divorce and remarry others while their first spouse is still alive. The original design by our Creator of "holy matrimony" is for one man and one woman for life. Our society has redefined the word marriage to not only just be between one man and one woman, but current legislation in the United States of America has now changed so the definition of marriage can be between anyone you want whether same sex or consecutive marriages, yet the consequences of these new inclusions can become problematic and result in actual curses unaware, which are not blessings, but only temporal feelings of emotions that sometime can seem as if this is the way of truth, but it is not and these alternative methods eventually lead to heartache, sickness and even death, whether that means death of the union of marriage or actual death of the participants.
Some may rationalize and separate selves from their own vows/words by changing the meaning to mean, "until the death of the love that I feel for this person" or "until I find someone else more attractive, more intelligent, more mature etc. comes along". But this redefining/changing of the meaning shows a lack of personal integrity and many fall prey to the popular practices in socialization in their society in which one lives.
Adversely, staying together in a dysfunctional marriage system without intervention can also prove hazardous and is also not something acceptable nor particularly healthy for the participants and other family members involved.
Why does it initially hurt so badly when we cannot get along or walk in agreement but then instead choose to distance ourselves from the one we made vows with?
Or, why does it "feel great" when the individual people who are choosing to leave the marriage vows, separate or divorce and plan to "move on"? Of course it feels great to have vision and a plan and not feel hindered nor abused by the other when one feels as though they have "a ball and chain" in their partner or feel oppressed in bondage based on the other partner not being in agreement to the other's will.
It feels good to get out because they are no longer subjecting themselves to the other's trespasses and sins of the emotional, spiritual and sometimes physical or mental abuse that tends to happen when both cannot walk together in unity. This is a good thing to not subject or allow the other to sin and trespass against your will. An intervention must take place. Discipline and discipleship has to happen in order for change to happen. A changing of the mindset and ways has to happen in order for a solution to be agreeable. Compromise is not the answer. Both must find agreeable terms as in any venture when two parties join in a contract.
It is the absence of "knowing the vision" of what it is that we want and it also is the way that we treat one another when we do not know what it is what we want. That is the main culprit. Remember the Golden Rule? "Do as to others what you would want done to you."
Life is an adventure and we don't always know what to do when we become lost. That is why we have a partner to help us in this journey. When one of us is mad, hurt, sad, angry or disappointed at the other, do we tell the other how we are feeling about what they are doing or not doing? Do we tell the other that we feel lost or afraid and don't know what to do? Or do they just feel our wrath because we cannot communicate properly nor know what it is that we want or how to proceed when an obstacle or problem arises?
The real problem is that we have problems communicating how we feel. We have problems connecting and understanding one another. We have problems ourselves knowing what it is that we are to do next and we don't know how to "humble ourselves" by telling the other person that we need to learn more and grow up into maturity. If we could be honest and do that instead of putting up pride to hide our shame of being naked and unclothed with proper clothing of perfection then we might gain a helper instead of an adversary. The Hebrew meaning of maturity is the word Perfect. We are to be fully clothed in honor and respect, but sometimes our weaker vessel/soul chooses to lead by its emotions and not it's spirit. "Walk by the spirit and you will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh." It's the character deficits that need to be built up into perfection, but that requires a willingness to grow up in understanding.
Definitions to explore-
Marriage
Commitment
Love
Lust
Sacrifice
Maturity
Communication
Agreement
Abuse - mental, physical, sexual, emotional, spiritual, financial
Transgression
Sin
Boundaries
Discipline
Order
Habits- Good and Bad
Dysfunctional
Functional
Normal - Normative Behavior - Good and Bad
Abnormal Behavior - Good and Bad
Blessing
Cursing
Life
Death
Power of Words